Why are people mean to nice people?!

Why are people mean to nice people?  Short answer,  They’re hurt! Long answer, They’re really hurt!  Some point, somebody, their parents, their lovers, a close one, did them dirty & hurt them, they were crushed & they’re still afraid the pain will never stop, or that it will happen again. Some people you can be nice and sincere too,  some people who may perceive you as a possible threat, you will have to deal with them accordingly. Basically, you will have to keep them within arm’s length but not within your personal space. People who are bad and mean to the nice ones, are those who are generally weak and try to prove they’re not by displaying a hostile attitude. Sometimes they do it because they’re resentful for being treated that way at some point of their lives. The fact is that we’ve all been hurt, and we’re all wounded, but not all of us are mean. We have both the capacity and the obligation to do better. How people treat other people is a  reflection of how they may truly feel about themselves.

By nature, I am a happy, optimistic, idealistic person. I have always been one to look on the bright side and see the good in people. My thoughts about  life is that the world is full of brightness, love, and possibilities to seize. Recently, though, my thoughts began to fade in the face of a mild depression. I began to cry a lot and retreat into myself rather than being social and opening up, which only furthered the problem. I felt alone, miserable, and, try as I might, I could not regain that feeling of the world being beautiful.
I felt like something had crawled into my mind and turned all the positive switches off and the negative ones on. I felt hopeless, like it was more of a disease than a feeling.
Before the depression, I was a kind, gentle, and compassionate person. Sometimes I was even too gentle, afraid to bring up anything that might offend someone else or damage our relationship.
I didn’t understand how other people could be mean, rude, or offensive toward strangers or friends. I took it personally when people were rude with me, believing they were truly out to get me for something I’d done. When someone is rude for no reason, especially a stranger, it’s rarely a personal assault, even if you accidentally did something to irritate them. People aren’t mean for the sport of it, or because they are against you; people are mean to cope. I felt unlovable, undesirable, antisocial, and I needed a way to cope with these feelings by giving myself an alter ego that deserved to be disliked for reasons I could understand. When you find that people are being rude to you in your everyday life, they are really being mean to themselves. They have likely convinced themselves that they are unworthy of love, and that is the biggest tragedy of all. You can simply recognize that the person being rude is struggling with their own problems, and needs a way to cope with them. You cannot control the actions and behaviors of others, only your personal reactions to them. If you yourself are the one who has been unkind, it is time for self-reflection.

Why do you attack people?

What are you trying to protect yourself from?

Should I change my outlook, so I pushed myself to see the good in myself and the reasons why I’m likable; as a result, I began to see the good in others again too. It’s not an easy process, and for many, it requires therapy and months of time. However, you can begin your journey back to kindness by being kinder to yourself. Listen closely to your destructive, self-critical thoughts.

Are they based in reality, or are you fabricating them?

If you criticize yourself because you feel guilty about things you did in the past, work on nurturing self-forgiveness, just as you’d forgive a loved one for those same mistakes.
If you criticize yourself because you were raised to believe you were a bad person, recognize this isn’t true, and know that you can choose to heal and challenge this belief as an adult. Try to look at yourself from an outside perspective and remind yourself of all the unique and beautiful qualities you possess and have the ability to share with the world. With enough time and effort, you will begin to see the pattern in your unkind behavior and its link to your own anger at yourself. The most important thing to remember, whether you are receiving or giving unkindness, is that you are inherently good, too, and deserve to be loved. Bless.

healme

 

Something Better?!

When there is no Faithfulness. One reason for the lack of faith and Faithfulness is that so many of us have been betrayed in life, situations, & relationships. Without Faithfulness functioning In our Life,  Disaster, disapproval, disappointment is created. We have trusted in Friendships, relationships, finances, medicine, religions, many things, & much more etc..,

To later Discover Falsehood.  The False , Deceptive, Charlatan. In this all, there is one great TREASURE.  GOD!

GOD IS ALWAYS SOMETHING BETTER & ALWAYS FAITHFUL! HE IS NOT OF FALSE CLAIM, NO BROKEN PROMISES, NO DECEPTIVE AGENDA. ITS THE ROCK OF FOUNDATION UPON WHICH WE CAN BUILD OUR LIFE. 

Have you ever had someone break a commitment made to you?! How did you feel? How did you react? GOD IS FAITHFUL. He does not change due to AGE… He does not change as to PLACE…And he does not change as to HIS WORD.. HIS Word is FOREVER SETTLED IN HEAVEN. HEAVEN & EARTH WILL PASS AWAY, BUT NOT HIS WORD.

GOD HAS PROMISED HIS HELP & FAITHFULNESS TO ALL PEOPLE, TO ALL KIND OF SITUATIONS. HIS PROMISE ” I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, I WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU!”

SOMETHING BETTER?!

faithfull

The Knowing Darlings & Demons

The narcissist moves amongst people and is often regarded as a wonderful person, a delight to be around and a positive darling. Few realise, at least, not until it is too late that he or she is the proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing as those dead, coal-black eyes focus on their prey and they move…

via Darlings and Demons — Knowing the Narcissist

The Opportunity is Still There

Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success. -Swami Sivananda

via The Opportunity Is Still There — SKYLARITY

Draining the Hate — Jenuine Healing

This is a great principle for depleting the world of hate. It is so simple. When someone is angry with you and is spewing hate at you. Let them. But don’t give them anything back but kindness and understanding of how frustrated and backed against the wall they feel. Even if they are a real […]

via Draining the Hate — Jenuine Healing

Keeping the Holidays Happy?! Tips!

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year….” That song just keeps going through my head as I type this. For me, this IS the most wonderful time of the year. I love all the bright lights, good food, and the way that for the most part, people just seem to be a little nicer […]

via Keeping the Holidays Happy – Tips for Dealing With Difficult People — Reclaiming HOPE

Personality Disorders?!

Personality disorders are  psychological conditions that are characterized by a pattern of long term behavior that deviates from societal expectations, and create serious problems in relationships and society. People with personality disorders tend to be inflexible, rigid and manipulative. Although most feel that their behaviors are justified and perfectly fine, they often have a tunnel-vision view of the world and have problems connecting with others in socially acceptable ways.

Personality disorders, Odd or eccentric disorders, Paranoid personality disorder Characterized by suspiciousness and a deep mistrust of people, paranoid personalities often think of others as manipulative, cunning or dishonest. This kind of a person may appear guarded, secretive, and excessively critical.

Schizoid personality disorder, People with schizoid personalities are emotionally distant and tend to prefer to be alone. They are generally immersed in their own thoughts and have little interest in bonding and intimacy with others. Schizotypal personality disorder  is characterized by odd and unusual “magical” beliefs. These individuals may have an eccentric way of behaving or dressing. They also tend to display outlandish beliefs such as believing that they can see the future or travel to other dimensions. People with this condition often have difficulty connecting with others and establishing long term relationships. Overtime, they may develop a fear of social gatherings.

Dramatic, emotional or erratic disorders. Antisocial/psychopath personality disorder.
Individuals with this disorder are known to be manipulative, irresponsible, and have a history of legal difficulties. They show little respect for the rights of others and feel no remorse for their actions. They also leave a trail of unfulfilled promises and broken hearts. Antisocial personalities are also at high risk for drug abuse, alcoholism; meth) since many are “rush” seekers. While they seldom suffer from depression or anxiety, they often use drugs to relieve boredom and irritability.

Borderline personality disorder  are impulsive and have extreme views of people as either “all good” or “bad”. These people are unstable in relationships and have a strong fear of abandonment. They may form an intense personal attachment with someone they barely know and end it without no apparent reason. They might also engage in a “pull” and “push” behavior that usually ends with their partner leaving permanently. Self-mutilation, suicidal gestures or attention-seeking destructive behaviors are not uncommon. Borderline personalities are three times more likely to be female.

Histrionic personality disorder, People with this condition engage in persistent attention-seeking behaviors that include inappropriate sexual behavior and exaggerated emotions. They can be oversensitive about themselves and constantly seek reassurance or approval from others. Excessive need to be the center of attention, low tolerance for frustration, blaming others for failures are also characteristics of the histrionic personality.

Narcissistic personality disorder, Narcissistic personalities have a blown up perception of themselves and an excessive desire for attention and admiration. Individuals with this disorder have a false sense of entitlement and little respect for other people’s feelings. They are oversensitive to criticism and often blame others for their failures.
Prone to outbursts of anger and irritability, the narcissistic personality tends to be manipulative in interpersonal relationships. But deep beneath the surface lies a vulnerable self-esteem, susceptible to depression and feelings of inferiority.

Anxious or fearful disorders, Avoidant personality disorder
This disorder is described by chronic social withdrawal, feelings of inferiority, over-sensitivity and social withdrawal. People with avoidant personality disorder are constantly fearful of rejection and ridicule. They form relationships only with people that they trust. The pain of rejection is so strong that these individuals prefer to isolate rather than risk disappointment.

Dependent personality disorder Individuals with this condition have an abnormal desire to be nurtured that leads to submissive and clinging behavior. Dependent personalities have difficulty making their own decisions and seek others to take over most important areas in their lives. They will often go to great length to obtain nurturance from others, have separation anxiety when alone and desperately seek another partner when a close relationship ends.

Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) Not to be confused with OCD. People with OCPD are perceived as strict and demanding by others. They have a persistent preoccupation with perfectionism, orderliness, and efficiency, at the expense of interpersonal relationships. They also show an excessive devotion to work, productivity and exhibit rigidness and stubbornness. People with OCPD usually have a negative view of life and often become withdrawn and depressed.

TRAMA

You’re afraid to tell people how you feel because it will destroy them. So you bury it deep inside where it destroys you. You are not Worthless. Share your story, Someone needs your story to create their Hope. Lets help one another, to Understand each other. Prayer & Communication are major keys to stepping forward on building Healthy Relationships. There is no right or wrong. No one is perfect. Good Luck! Cheers to Self Care, Love, Forgiveness. Walk your Journey in search of Support. Someone will care to understand. Eventually. Do not Give up!

What’s a Disability?

Disability is often defined as any limitation, restriction or impairment which restricts everyday activities and has lasted or is likely to last for at least 6 months, or ones Lifetime. However, disability can be defined in several different ways, depending on the context that the word is used. Disabilities can be very varied.  They can be physical, cognitive, intellectual, mental, sensory, or developmental. They can be present at birth or occur during a person’s lifetime, and can also be permanent or temporary.

There are many different types of disabilities which affect individual people in different ways. 90% of disabilities are not visible, and two people with the same type of disability may not have the same experiences, which loosely fall into  separate categories – intellectual, physical, sensory, and mental illness.

An intellectual disability may mean difficulty communicating, learning, and retaining information. They include Down syndrome, Fragile X syndrome, Prader-Willi syndrome, and developmental delays.

Physical disability may affect, either temporarily or permanently, a person’s physical capacity and/or mobility. They include MS, cerebral palsy, spina bifida, brain or spinal cord injury, epilepsy, and muscular dystrophy.

Sensory disabilities affect one or more senses; sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste or spatial awareness. They include autism, blindness, and hearing loss.

A mental illness affects a person’s thinking, emotional state and behaviors. They include bipolar, depression, schizophrenia, and eating disorders.

Disability and education
36% of people with a disability aged 18-64yrs, have completed Year 12, compared with 60% of those without a disability.
50% of school children with a disability receive additional support including tuition, and access to counsellors or support workers.
25% of people with a profound or severe disability aged 15 – 64 have completed Year 12.

Disability and the community
People with a profound disability are 9 times less likely to participate in activities outside the home.
Nearly 4 in 5 people with disability aged 15-64 years, participated in a cultural, recreational or sporting activity away from home in the previous 12 months (79%).

Childhood disabilities and developmental delays

7% of children have a disability
10% children have a developmental delay
52% of children with disabilities have a profound or severe core-activity limitation
Boys aged 0-14 years are more likely to have a disability (8.8%) than girls (5.0%)
Autism and related mental or behavioral disabilities are the most common disabilities amongst all children
Sensory (sight and hearing), and speech disabilities are the most common disabilities amongst children aged 0-4
66% of children with disabilities attend regular classes in mainstream schools
Just 10% of children with disabilities attend ‘special’ schools
Almost 80% of School principals reported not having enough resources to meet the needs of children with a disability

Mental Health
1 in 5  have a mental illness
Almost half (45%) will experience a mental illness in their lifetime
Women are more likely to have a mental illness than men (22% compared with 18%). However, men had twice the rate of Substance Use disorders (7.0% compared with 3.3%)
The most common mental illnesses are depressive, anxiety and, substance use disorder
More than 10% of people with a mental illness die by suicide within the first 10 years of diagnosis.

Lets all be dedicated to giving people with a disability greater choice, control, and freedom – empowering them to live life on their own terms across the World.

disable

 

Speak Your Life into Living Again?!

Scriptures

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.  Proverbs 18:21

Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.. Phil 4:8

And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith. Matt 21:22

So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:11

Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Mark 11:23

But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matt 4:4

BONUS: For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; 1 Peter 3:10

The thing is, God gives us rules to live by and clear instructions on how to have a fulfilled life. So many times we (I’ve done it too) pick & choose what we want to follow out of the bible. We pick the scripture that benefits us at the time we need it the most.

I believe we all want a good life, whatever good means to you. Unfortunately, our words don’t reflect that. If words have power, that means everything you say is shaping your life. You may not feel it or see it the minute you speak it, but those words are planting seeds.

Just look back on your life or even where you are now. Do you remember speaking certain things about what you want or don’t want to happen and now you are living it?

Because words have power, we clearly have to be intentional with what we speak.

Tip: Only focus on the things you want/desire. Give no energy to the things you do not want.  Watch how things start to shift.

SPEAK YOUR LIFE INTO LIVING THE LIFE YOU DESIRE.

YES

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