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Do you suffer from phone anxiety?!
Start by trying to Figure out what’s causing the fear of talking on the phone: Are you concerned about saying something embarrassing? Are you fearing rejection? What are your thoughts that are going through your head before making a phone call. What kinds of things are you telling yourself.
The Most important factor is getting to the root of the exact fear about making phone calls. Always Aiming for positive self-talk is a must, Afterwards try to understand what’s driving your fear, try to change what you’re telling yourself about talking on the phone. Example: Think about times when you have made phone calls & didn’t say anything embarrassing or negative. Now, self-talk by saying something like, “I have made several successful phone calls without embarrassing myself. I am capable of having a successful phone conversation.”
Chronic fears of making telephone calls may be an indicator of a deeper issues, such as social anxiety. A great tip, Try seeing an experienced anxiety therapist, to identify any issues to develop some skills to overcome it. There are treatments for social anxiety. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques, exposure therapy, & social skills training, these type of techniques may be a great help for you to identify anxious thought patterns.
Try to face your fears. Try to develop strategies for managing social situations. Managing your phone calls daily, try to decide when you want to make your calls. Spread out your calls or make them all in one day, whatever works best for you. Limit yourself to one or two calls per day can help with pressure of making phone calls. Determine the best time of day for your phone calls & only try to make phone calls when you feel at your best, feeling confident makes a difference. Consider the purpose of your call, prepare so that you’re able to accomplish the goal. If you need to make a call to find out information, make a list of questions. If you need to communicate important info to a friend, coworker, family member, write down what you need to communicate.
Try screening calls. Answer calls from people in your contact list, or just allow calls to go to voicemail, then you can think exactly how you want to respond without the pressure.
Remember to always toTake a deep breath & Relax.
Exercise, Eat healthy, Spend time doing things you enjoy, Get sleep, Take care of your Spirituality, Don’t trap yourself thinking you’re “too busy” to take care of yourself.
Understanding codependency, Your Self Awareness, Learning to Parent Yourself, Learning to Validate your emotions, trauma, whether you’re highly sensitive or overly emotional.
UNTANGLING YOURSELF-from Others, Owning the emotion & Getting to know yourself by Loving yourself with compassion. Codependents get themselves entangled in other people’s problems trying to fix, control, rescue, give advice, or force solutions on people who often don’t want or may need change. These behaviors, although meaning well, are frustrating for everyone involved. We get frustrated because we usually can’t affect change. Focusing on other people’s problems distracts us from owning our part in the problems & changing ourselves. These controlling & rescuing behaviors strain relationships. Loved ones resent our demanding & ultimatums. Our emotions may also be dependent on other people’s feelings. It might be that when your Other is in a good mood, you’re in a good mood and when they’re in a bad mood, you are in a bad mood. You may have difficulty recognizing your own feelings; you’ve become detached from yourself because you’re constantly concerned about how other people feel. We can untangle ourselves from others by learning to detach with love and stop enabling. Detaching is similar to setting healthy boundaries. Detaching puts healthy emotional, physical space between you & Others, so you & the Other have freedom to make your own choices, & have your own feelings. Detaching can include leaving uncomfortable, unsafe situations, saying “no”, or refraining yourself from giving advice.
Reflection: Do you enable, tangle yourself up in other people’s lives or problems? What boundaries will help you detach, prioritize your needs? How do you feel? .
OWNING YOUR PART- Denial is a self-protective measure that we use to deal with our overwhelming pain. Denial tries to shield us from our anger, despair, shame, it becomes a barrier to changing codependent patterns. We struggle to own our part in dysfunctional relationships, we tend to blame others. When we blame others, we act like victims, putting our happiness on whether other people will change. Gaining awareness means accepting responsibility, but not assuming responsibility for what other adults do. You aren’t responsible for others decisions. You are responsible for your happiness, health, which means you have choices and can take charge.
Reflection: If you’re having trouble seeing a situation objectively, do you have a trusted friend who can help see things from a different perspective? Do you blame others for your unhappiness? Can you empower yourself , solving your problems?
KNOWING YOURSELF– codependent families prevents us from developing a understanding of ourselves. Fear is used to force us to conform to family norms & we weren’t allowed or encouraged to explore our own interests, beliefs during childhood. We learn to suppress who we are to please others. In adulthood, we stay or focus on other people, that we really don’t know who we are, what we like, or what we want. We become defined by our roles, instead of the complex individuals that we are. Codependency recovering has to include getting to know ourselves.Getting to know ourselves isn’t selfish, its healthy & respect for ourselves. It means that we care about ourselves, we are curious about who we are.
Reflection: What do you like to do? How do you like to be treated? What are your goals? What do you believe?
LOVE YOURSELF– We do this through COMPASSION, accepting imperfections & mistakes, self care & Self-love, being kind to yourself, instead of being critical about your flaws. Self-love is your basic physical need, getting sleep, eating healthy food, exercise, taking medications your doctor has prescribed, setting boundaries, your opinions, asking for what you need, making time for fun, social connection. If you’re not used to taking care of yourself, it will feel uncomfortable for a while, but with each step of compassion, self-care, you are taking solid steps to love yourself.
Reflection: What is one thing you can do for your emotional health everyday? What is one thing you can do for your physical health everyday? What are you saying to yourself when you make mistakes? What can you tell yourself that would be understanding, supportive & compassionate?
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