How to Cope with a whole Narcissistic Family?!

 How to Cope with a whole Narcissistic Family, Possible Solutions

Narcissists are particularly difficult for family members who can’t avoid them. Many people have some traits, but not the full disorder, people with a severe pattern of constant criticisms, arrogant statements, preoccupation with themselves, disparaging remarks, and demands for admiration.

You know that this not only gets very tiresome, it can also wear down your own self-esteem, be exhausting, and absorb a huge amount of your time without providing any benefit in return.

This message offers some enlightenment for coping. Do not call them a narcissist. This is always tempting, but it typically backfires and makes things worse. Usually calling someone a narcissist is intended to make them stop and think about the damage they are doing.

People with narcissistic personality disorder can’t reflect on their own behavior and instead become obsessed with proving that you are the one with a problem. They are better at doing that than you can ever be. It’s true that they do not self-reflect and gain insights from people’s feedback, no matter how constructive or intense it may be. Just forget about it! You’re not going to give them insight into themselves. And you may make your relationship worse.

Examples in Some cases in an adult child angrily confronted the parent, telling them they had narcissistic personality. Afterwards, the parent kept dropping by the house uninvited to say, “What you said about me just isn’t true, demanding apologies or I’ll keep coming back until you do. After all I have done for you, I can’t believe how ungrateful you are!”   Do not argue with them.

It doesn’t help to argue with them. They’re not going to have insights from your feedback. And you don’t need to defend yourself, because it isn’t about you. It’s really about them and their personality and lack of interpersonal skills. They tend to see things in all-or-nothing terms so that the fault is all yours and all the victimhood as theirs. You can’t change that. They constantly see themselves as victims-in-life, treated so unfairly by those around them, without any recognition of their own part in the problem—which may actually be the primary part of the problem. Arguing just puts them in the emotional parts of their brains where they shift into high gear of defensiveness.

For example, some relationships get hooked into arguments over who is the more intelligent person in the relationship. Narcissists continually put out subtle and blatant messages that their family members are less intelligent than themselves — observations, criticisms that just don’t stop. They must feel superior to feel okay. And even then, it’s a shaky feeling of superiority which they have to constantly shore up by putting others down. In high-conflicts, narcissists fill  with their stories of how incompetent financially, morally, and otherwise. Courtship stories of how wonderful they are and how special they will treat you become opposite: They put you down to protect their superior self-image. They’re just telling the “truth,” they insist. Don’t be surprised by this.

Do focus on choices, yours and theirs. People with narcissistic personalities are frequent complainers about their everyday lives. They insist that people treat them unfairly and without the great respect. They also do not see how their own behavior influences how others avoid them or criticize them in return. If your family member is talking to you in this manner, simply let them know that they have some choices in the situation.

Example, “That’s too bad. Sounds like you might want to put your energy somewhere else, or realize that so-and-so isn’t going to give you what you want. You always have a choice of what to do or who to be around. Good luck with that.” At the same time, it helps to know that you have choices, too. Being around a narcissist can be emotionally draining and trigger unnecessary self-criticism. You can choose to avoid them, limit your time together, or have someone else with you when you are around the person. Just thinking that you have choices often helps it feel less stressful. Also, know that you can choose to set limits. Do set limits on what you will do for them.

You cannot control a narcissist’s behavior; you can control your own. Instead of trying to get them to change, look at how you can change. One of the first places to look is at ways you may tolerate or support their narcissism. In many families, a narcissistic sibling or child slowly takes over by demanding the most attention and loyalty, insulting everyone (even parents), violating the family’s rules, and manipulating its decision-making. You do not have to cooperate.

You can withdraw your participation in their actions against others, or even behavior toward yourself: “If you’re going to speak to me that way, I’m going to have to end this conversation.” “I’m sorry, but I can’t go with you when you confront other family members, etc. I don’t agree that they have done anything wrong.”  

I have seen adult narcissists in court bring parents and siblings to support them in their legal conflicts such as lawsuits against neighbors, exes, former colleagues or employers, etc. The parents and siblings often appear worn out after a lifetime reluctantly coping with and trying to support their narcissistic family member; trying to placate them so they will calm down or not be angry with them.

The trouble is that this has no positive outcome. It’s better to set limits sooner rather than later.   Get support and consultation. People feel alone when dealing with a narcissistic family member.

Your own self-esteem may be worn down after all the insults, criticisms, and public humiliation. Yet with support from friends and/or professionals—such as counselors, lawyers, and others—you can get perspective and learn that you don’t have to be embarrassed. There are millions of narcissists and they are good at making their family members feel like they have a unique problem so that they are too ashamed to deal with it by speaking to others outside the family.

You have nothing to be ashamed of. Your family member may be suffering from a disorder they don’t understand and didn’t ask to have. Tolerating their dysfunction does no one any good.

I have seen many adult children, parents, siblings, and partners gain strength by discussing their situation with a therapist or with friends and deciding on a step-by-step course of action to stop enabling the narcissistic family member. In some cases, they end up cutting ties, but in many others, they learn to get some distance emotionally so that they no longer feel obligated to engage with their narcissism while still staying connected as a family.

As they say , “Let go with love.” This doesn’t have to mean having no contact. It can mean letting go of certain interactions, discussing certain topics, or having certain conversations at all. You can say, “I need to go now. Talk to you later.” And quickly move on. Over time it gets easier. Sometimes writing out what you are going to say in advance can give you confidence, including how you will respond to their predictable disparaging comments when you set limits. Or you can have a practice conversation with a counselor or friend before you have a limit-setting conversation in person. 

Conclusion, Millions of people have a narcissist in their family; you’re not alone. These and other tips may help you disengage from the emotional hold they have over you and others. You may be surprised at the energy, free time, and inner peace you gain. It’s not easy, but step by step, it may be possible.

May peace be with us all, always.

Remove Negative Energy?!

You can use simple prayer to remove negative energy from yourself & home.

The main purpose of prayer is not the punishment itself, but that God removes bad influences and that the holders of evil spirits are far from their followers; such spirits may or may not belong to other people. As it has the function and to exasperate any type of evil, prayer is also used by those who want protection.

I ask the Divine within myself
to remove all the earthbound, demon and other entities,
the dark shields, dark energies, dark devices and dark connections
from my body, aura, soul, and cord,
and also from my home, my workplace, my car, my places of recreation,
and everything in them and miles and miles around them.
I ask the Divine within myself
to locate and bring back my lost soul parts
and cleanse, heal and integrate them with the main body of my soul.
I ask the Divine within myself
to fill me and shield me with brilliant Divine Light,
and to plug all the holes and tunnels in me and my surroundings and my Car, Home & Family.
I visualize vibrant Divine Light
coming from above my head
filling my whole body,
cleansing and healing every part, every cell, and every organ of my body.
I visualize this Divine Light
in every direction
creating Divine Light all around me.
I visualize Divine Light with reflective spiritual mirrors,
with the reflective mirror surface facing outwards.
I visualize this spreading Divine Light all around.
I visualize my home, workplace, car and places of recreation
being cleansed, filled and shielded by brilliant, white, liquid Light.
I ask the Divine within myself
to stay on guard around me and my surroundings
as long as my soul exists.
I pray for protection
of my family members, friends, co-workers and all the people I know
and their surroundings.
I ask the Divine within myself
to cleanse, heal, balance
all my energy. I ask the Divine Light within myself
to cleanse, heal, shield and protect
all my channels of communication with the Divine Light.

May Peace, Love, & Abundance Be with you all the days of your Life.

Do You Want A Lovely Reminder?!

healinglovepic

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

From :1Corinthians 13:1-8, 13

Dear GOD, Thank you that you are a loving, gracious GOD. Thank you that you’ve offered us forgiveness and the gift of new life in you. Thank you that your love is perfect, it never fails, and that nothing can separate us from your love. We pray that our lives would be filled and overflowing with the power of your love so we can make a difference in this world and bring honor to you. We ask for your help in reminding us that the most important things are not what we do outwardly, it’s not based on any talent or gift, but the most significant thing we can do in this life is simply to love you and to choose to love others. Lord thank you that your love is patient. Help us show patience with those around us.

LORD thank you that your love is kind. Help us to extend kindness to others. LORD thank you that true love is not jealous. Help us cast aside feelings of jealousy or hatred towards others. LORD thank you that your love does not brag and is not arrogant. Help us not to live with pride or arrogance, but to choose to walk with humility and grace. LORD thank you that true love does not act unbecomingly. LORD help us to extend kindness instead of rudeness towards others. Help us to lay aside the critical tone and tearing down with our words, so that we can truly walk in peace.

LORD thank you that true love does not seek its own. LORD help us not to live selfishly, looking only to our own interests. LORD thank you that true love is not provoked. LORD help us not to become easily angered. Help us not to be so quickly reactive, but instead slow to speak and slow to become angry. LORD thank you that your love does not take into account a wrong suffered. Lord help us not to hold grudges, but to choose to forgive, even when it’s difficult.

LORD thank you that your love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. LORD help us to love your words of truth, may we walk in your freedom and wisdom. Let it be what drives our lives and choices every day. LORD thank you that your love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, thank you that your love never fails. Help us to love as you love. Fill us with your Spirit so that we can choose what is best. We are weak LORD, but we know also, that even when we are weak, you are strong within us. Thank you that it’s not all up to us. Thank you that you equip us to face each day with the power of your love, your forgiveness, and your grace.

We love you LORD, and we need you today, and every day,

In JESUS’ Name, Amen.

Amen.

Our Father who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever

IN JESUS CHRIST NAME Amen.

Tough Times?! Mantra & Affirm it!!!

For difficult times these Mantras will help give you the strength so you can be Mentally strong in difficult emotions, staying calm & strong to overcome & survive.

green

  • I can get through anything.
  • There are no problems, there are only challenges.
  • I welcome & appreciate the challenges into my life.
  • Challenges are opportunities to learn and grow.
  • I am safe and secure no matter what.
  • I can get through anything, win or lose.
  • I am getting stronger every day.
  • I attract financial abundance into my life now, I am ready & willing to receive all types of assistance.
  • My bills & debts are paid, and I will live freely. I will not live my life based on debt worries.
  • I am a strong and capable person.
  • Hard times will not get the best of me. I will continue to do my best, win or lose.
  • I can overcome obstacles, win or lose.
  • I release all negative emotions from the day.
  • I let go of any stress and anxiety from today.
  • I will learn what I need to from today, which will make me a stronger person.
  • I know that life is not meant to be easy, win or lose.
  • Tomorrow is a brand-new day.
  • I accept my lost each day, losing does not define me.
  • I am a strong person.
  • I can solve problems.
  • I will not let fear control me.
  • I can survive anything life throws at me.
  • I have the strength and courage to get through this.
  • I understand the challenges in my life.
  • I am ready to be the best version of myself.
  • I release all negativity from my life.
  • I am with joy and ease right now.
  • I do not have to solve this today.
  • I am doing what I can with the knowledge and skills I have.
  • I choose to let my mind rest right now.
  • I understand fear as a sign, to be careful.
  • I am doing my best; I release from guilt and shame.
  • I am the kind of person who can survive this storm.
  • Circumstances change, I feel more grateful for what I have.
  • I am not failure, but a survivor. I am in the process of surviving.
  • I commit to showing up tomorrow, I accept the mistakes I have made.
  • I am holding on in the dark, looking for the light and truth.
  • I will face sorts of trauma, & It will not be the last.
  • I am flexible, I can adapt when life does not go according to plans.
  • I have Courage to face the fear of danger, I am facing the danger despite my fear.
  • Problems are not solved by perfection; I am showing up as I am.
  • I will persevere along my path. I will accept when to let go, I will accept when to change course.
  • I will have to go this road alone. I have, or I can find people in my life to support or inspire me.
  • I am love; my life is important & meaningful, despite my losses.
  • My Life is of constant change.
  • My pain is real, but my pain is not forever.
  • This is just a chapter in my life.
  • May Peace Be with You All.
  • May Peace Be With Me All the Days of My Life.

As Christians We Are like Jars of Clay

https://wp.me/p17ihl-2WE

Try Healing your Childhood Sexual Abuse

Healing childhood sexual abuse or being sexually assaulted can be shattering, leaving you feeling scared, ashamed, and alone or plagued by nightmares, flashbacks, and unpleasant memories. But no matter how bad you feel, it’s important to remember that you weren’t to blame for what happened and you can regain your sense of safety and trust. Recovering from sexual trauma takes time, and the healing process can be painful. But with the right strategies and support, you can move past the trauma, rebuild your sense of control and self-worth, and even come out the other side feeling stronger and more resilient.

Trust –
The inner you that went into hiding, as a child, needs to know the “adult” you is safe. To build trust, treat the wounded “you” the way you would have liked to have been treated when you were little.

Validate – 
Validate you by acknowledging that the sexual abuse you were subjected to (or any abuse) wounded you, clear to the depths of your soul. Your response to being wounded was completely normal under abnormal circumstances.

Be angry – 
It’s okay to be angry. In fact, it’s better than okay. Be enraged at the injustice. You have to get angry before you can get well. Think of your anger as a healthy response. It is.

Grieve – 
Mourn your betrayal, mourn what ‘might have been,’ what your family could have looked like, what a carefree childhood should have felt like. Grieve your loss. People who bury their grief stay stuck in it.

Allow sorrow –
Feel sadness for your inner child’s pain. It was so lonely – this feeling that there was something, somehow, wrong with you.

Face forward – 
Acknowledge your history – but do not let it define you. Believe you are strong enough. You are – you survived. You are stronger than you think.

I am who I am today because of my history. I didn’t choose my mom and dad, I was born to them. I would be a different individual — not better, not worse — just different, had I had another set of parents. What I know is that because I experienced what I did, I understand the heart of another in the way only those who share a history of childhood abuse can. In this I am certain: if I can do it, so can you. Take care. You are always loved & supported.

safe

Romans 8:14 – 8:19

 

Children of GOD, you have a choice.

14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with [him], that we may be also glorified together.
18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time [are] not worthy [to be compared] with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
19 For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.

How precious to be a Child of GOD. If you have the faith to believe it , you may be a enemy to the world, But that wonderful time is coming to be in Paradise forever. Eternity to come and to be chosen to live in a Heavenly place. The Birth of a new age is coming. Don’t give up, we were chosen before the foundation of this world. Know the law and overcome it. Earn it . The Holy Spirit helps our infirmities , for we know not, what we should be praying for. Gods Elect , he has a plan for you. Gods gonna put you where he wants you, He has a purpose for you. A destiny.

God will intercede in your life, according to his purpose , not your purpose. He predestined it already. His son Jesus paved the way. Predestination .  Be strong God is in control fulfill the Almighty destiny to bring peace. Who can be against you if God is for you. A coward dies a thousand deaths , the brave only once. Don’t worry. Know the plan. Do you have the courage to stand for GOD?

True wisdom is to simplify the plan , simplify the plan GOD has for you. You have your own choice.

holy

 

Mental Remedy

mental health

depression

Please read without distraction. Pray fully. Struggle with profoundly damaging levels, of mental illness. May we pray with passion and with enduring sympathy.
The LORD is my Shepard, I Lack Nothing….
Although sometimes we feel we lack everything, Sometimes we cannot see what you have given us, through the lie of what has been taken away. Show us how to see your blessing. Show us how to see your provision, when the world teaches us an economy of fear & scarcity. The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.Be strong & courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. He guides me along the right paths. We so often turn from your path—believing lies about ourselves, about others, about you; taking on burdens that are not ours to bear; struggling to entrust you with ourselves, our family, our friends, and our circumstances. Guide us along your path of trust & contentment.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, The valley of depression, the valley of medication, the valley of sorrow, the valley of pain and abandonment, the valley of past wrongs done to me, the valley of despair, the valley of derision, the valley of fear, the valley of waiting, the valley of misunderstanding.
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. You have made us worthy. You have made us chosen. You accept us with all our flaws, with all our illness and frailty, with all our failings. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life. Goodness and Love will follow us.  Goodness and Love will chase us down—despite ourselves, despite others, despite our circumstances—goodness and love, by the power and grace of your Spirit, have found us. And will never let us go.
I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Forever. In health, in strength, in love, in mercy. Forever. AMEN.
The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

PRAY

PRAY

PRAY

WHEN LIFE IS ROUGH, PRAY.
WHEN LIFE IS GREAT, PRAY.
KEEP PRAYING DONT QUIT , MIRACLES HAPPEN EVERYDAY, & NEVER STOP BELIEVING.
GOD CAN CHANGE THINGS VERY QUICKLY IN YOUR LIFE.
YOU MAY BE QUIET, BUT YOUR A WARRIOR, PRAYERS CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS.
THE ENEMY IS NOT FIGHTING YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE WEAK, HES FIGHTING YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE STRONG.
ARCHANGEL MICHAEL PLEASE SHIELD ME FROM NEGATIVE ENERGY.
ARCHANGEL MICHAEL BLESS ME WITH COURAGE & STRENGTH TO COME THROUGH CHALLENGES.
ARCHANGEL RAPHAEL HEAL PHYSICAL CHALLENGES IN YOURSELF & OTHERS. HEAL.
DEAR GOD DIRECT MY STEPS.