Try Healing your Childhood Sexual Abuse

Healing childhood sexual abuse or being sexually assaulted can be shattering, leaving you feeling scared, ashamed, and alone or plagued by nightmares, flashbacks, and unpleasant memories. But no matter how bad you feel, it’s important to remember that you weren’t to blame for what happened and you can regain your sense of safety and trust. Recovering from sexual trauma takes time, and the healing process can be painful. But with the right strategies and support, you can move past the trauma, rebuild your sense of control and self-worth, and even come out the other side feeling stronger and more resilient.

Trust –
The inner you that went into hiding, as a child, needs to know the “adult” you is safe. To build trust, treat the wounded “you” the way you would have liked to have been treated when you were little.

Validate – 
Validate you by acknowledging that the sexual abuse you were subjected to (or any abuse) wounded you, clear to the depths of your soul. Your response to being wounded was completely normal under abnormal circumstances.

Be angry – 
It’s okay to be angry. In fact, it’s better than okay. Be enraged at the injustice. You have to get angry before you can get well. Think of your anger as a healthy response. It is.

Grieve – 
Mourn your betrayal, mourn what ‘might have been,’ what your family could have looked like, what a carefree childhood should have felt like. Grieve your loss. People who bury their grief stay stuck in it.

Allow sorrow –
Feel sadness for your inner child’s pain. It was so lonely – this feeling that there was something, somehow, wrong with you.

Face forward – 
Acknowledge your history – but do not let it define you. Believe you are strong enough. You are – you survived. You are stronger than you think.

I am who I am today because of my history. I didn’t choose my mom and dad, I was born to them. I would be a different individual — not better, not worse — just different, had I had another set of parents. What I know is that because I experienced what I did, I understand the heart of another in the way only those who share a history of childhood abuse can. In this I am certain: if I can do it, so can you. Take care. You are always loved & supported.

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Selflove & Selfcare SELFISH TO OTHERS?!

Is selflove & selfcare selfish to others? I’ve spent long years telling myself I cannot afford to slowdown, To have even 10 minutes of me time, I have to hustle and work more. Doing that for too long, you will find yourself incredibly exhausted.

It’s time for things to change. Self-care  spending a few minutes each day doing nothing. No thinking, no social media, nothing. Get in touch with your body, your inner self.

It starts from there. Reasons you shouldn’t feel selfish for taking care of yourself.

Authenticity. The moment you decide to give yourself a few minutes of the day, you’re also allowing yourself to be more authentic. If you think you already do, think again.

Try it for a month, don’t wait for the weekends; put in a little extra effort and commit to doing something every day for yourself. It won’t take long before you see some parts of yourself you never thought existed. It allows you to determine which parts are authentically yours and which aren’t—we all have aspects in us that are copied from someone else.

You can only help others if you’re helping yourself first, physically, mentally and spiritually. Desire, passion are not enough. You need a healthy body, open mind to function, which aren’t present if you’re filled with self-doubt. It’s not going to be easy, but worth it. The road to self-care is a tricky one. But it’s necessary. Pretending to be strong 24/7 doesn’t last long. The strength must come from within. It helps you go from existing to living.

Existing is simply being on this tiny blue dot called Earth. Living is experiencing everything this tiny blue dot has to offer. Which are you doing? Are you going to wait for your retirement before you decide you want to enjoy life? for yourself? Although we have responsibilities paying bills, raising children, etc.

We’re also responsible for taking care of ourselves. It will help you find your purpose. You’ve probably asked that question countless times. You might have days, weeks or months where you feel down, unsatisfied, feeling like there should be something more. It’s your body signaling you to take a leap into the unknown, because your purpose is out there, waiting.

How do you know when you find it? You just do. Self-care means trusting yourself. It means being willing to go out in the wild or dig deep. It might be scary, but there’s really no other way to figure out what you’re supposed to do in this world. Practicing self-care and building trust between you and your inner self will help you find purpose in life.

Self-care can be Empowering, as you need it to be.

 Selfcare is not narcissism
For years now  people say that they are being selfish or narcissistic. The suggestion to take care of yourself first gets a bad rap when we begin to do so in the sense that it says “no” to someone else; or we don’t like what the art of taking care of self looks like from our  point of view. We can’t pick and choose how we want people to take care of themselves because it looks insensitive to us because them being in a healthy state of mind might leave us behind, or they need time to themselves for an uncertain amount of time. The person who is taking care of self knows what that looks and feels like to them and because we love them we have to allow them to balance themselves in the best way that they know how.

We have so many people doing the opposite of taking care of themselves to the point of self deprecation and deprivation that it is leaving them in a void. Some of us become co-dependents to the state of martyrdom because it makes us look saintly but underneath we are miserable.

When we deplete ourselves because we have chosen to put others before ourselves over and over again in a way that is unhealthy it places emotional stress and tension on us that can present itself through mental and physical health issues. We have to balance out our energies in a way that replenishes us so that we are able to give to those we love and care for in ways that allow us to give of ourselves in the best light possible.

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Let it Go !

Forgive yourself , let go of pain, make room for joy.   Holding on to the past can affect your overall health, release grudges and any negative feelings about yourself of others. Resentment affects your immune system.

Let it go, forgive others, forgive yourself.

Admit your resistance to forgiving, acknowledge how you feel. Know your role, get over betrayal, reflect on how you might have betrayed yourself. When you weren’t loving and respecting yourself or your own truth.  Write a letter to yourself or another person, to stop the blame game, this helps expressing negativity that may be in your soul about yourself or about another being. Even if you don’t give the letter to anyone. Say it aloud, tell yourself you have truly forgiven yourself or any others who may have wronged you. Seal the forgiveness and move forward. Start in your own heart, don’t overlook forgiving yourself.

TO HEAL A WOUND, STOP TOUCHING IT   !!!!!!!!!!!

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